No News Is Good News Mailshot - Crit Response/Further Development

Here is the changes I made from the crit feedback I got.

I had a go at filling in the bottle to look like there is liquid inside. I think the one with the least amount in is the most effective because it shows that it has been drank but not finished, so it could suggest that the parent could do something about it before it is too late.

Thinking about the doing something before it is too late aspect that I thought with the amount of liquid I have in the bottle, I also thought this would be good to have on the label of the bottle so that they will link together well. I also put the website in the bottle to go with the saying, so that they know they can go to that website to find out more information and advise. I also changed the numbers on the label to 2002 and 2009 to link it with the fact I am presenting to them.

So because I changed them numbers, I also changed the 33cl bit at the top of the bottle to 36pd, so that it shows 36 per day. Just little things to make the bottle link more with what the mailshot is about.

I changed the graphic on the outside so that it was just lines and not blocked colour so that it is similar to the lined illustration of the bottle on the inside. I tried it with just one line and 2, but I think the one with just one line works the best so this is what I went with.

To link the graphic on the outside better with the inside I also put my question that I am asking the parent receiving this in the same thing to make it stand out that bit more. I like this question because I think it will pull on the parents heart strings a bit with making them wonder how it would feel if it was their kid.

This is how the final mailshot now looks.

For the mailshot that I will be sending through the post, I have got it printed down in the digital print room on Matt paper, as well as another one printed down there to keep with me, so that when the posted version comes back, I can compare the 2. But because it costs £3 for just one of the designs to be printed down there, I will only be printing these 2 down there. So as well as this I will print off all 10 envelopes requires for this brief upstairs in the Mac suite. The quality of them wont be as professional looking, but they will look good enough for my finals.

Here is the digitally printed envelope that will be sent through the post back to the college.